Accomplished

Is this as good as it gets? Yes and no. Every major goal I’ve ever accomplished has been anticlimactic at the time. My educational goals have been met amongst personal illness, a national recession, and a global pandemic. I doubt there will be an actual zombie apocalypse when I graduate with my doctorate, but I’m still going to be prepared. I finished a marathon in the last decade with no fanfare; it was accompanied only by an emotional breakdown when I wasn’t able to find my car in the parking garage afterward. Even minor goals have seemed irrelevant at the time: finishing a painting, buying a new car, self-publishing four poetry books. In themselves, these things account for nothing. My hopes of feeling complete with each task I complete amount to nothing. Still, I’m tempted to think that as soon as I…once I…when I…then I…nope…not going to happen. Get over yourself, Chris. Where I am right now is as good as life gets, and there is room for improvement.

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