Why would I want another year or two to live? I’m finally expecting my first grandchild. Babies are a good thing. Spending time with my kids and their friends is fun. Working to help others overcome trauma and addiction is meaningful and necessary. Our world is full of hurting people who need to learn how to transform their pain instead of transmitting it to others. Name it to tame it. Feel it to heal it. Grieve it to leave it. All of these sayings help me face into my fears and pain instead of running away from them, instead of feeling hopeless and stuck. Now that I’m entering a new phase of life – “middle age” – I’m scared of getting cancer and not knowing about it until it’s too late. It probably doesn’t help that I’m hooked on watching medical dramas, but I also appreciate the reminder that life is temporary. I might only have another year or two to live; I might have fifty. I could also not wake up tomorrow or even make it through until the end of today. Our next breath is never guaranteed, so I guess the real question is whether I want to live my life now.