The pain isn’t coming; it’s already here. Anticipatory anxiety is the pain we feel before a painful event occurs. In fact, the painful event doesn’t even need to happen in order for the body to experience the pain that would have followed the event if the event had occurred. This phenomenon is often experienced in near events: stopping a vehicle moments before impact, bracing yourself for impact from a moving object seen in your periphery, tensing from the movement of shadows when you think you’re alone. However, anticipatory anxiety can be more damaging to the body when the foreseen event is further into the future: a terminal diagnosis, a child leaving for college, a disintegrating marriage. The less time between the realization of impending danger and the actual event, the more acute the body’s reaction will be. The more time between them, the more sustained the reactive responses will be. When my heart jumps out of my chest at a near collision, I know I will be okay. My heart rate will return to normal soon. When I feel as though my life is gradually falling to pieces around me, I’m not so certain. I know I’ll survive, but will my heart rate ever return to normal again? Will I be able to find my way back to normal? Is normal even the goal? Not for me. If I’m going to suffer through months of anticipatory anxiety, I sure as heck want better than normal once I reach the other side.