Double-edged Sword

Depression is not a character defect. Depression is not your fault. Depression is a default mode of the brain that is meant to protect us from sustaining further harm. Depression is a huge red flag indicating that something is terribly wrong. Depression is how our body communicates to us that we need help. It’s a warning sign that we have ventured precariously close to utter annihilation and that if we don’t intervene now, we could die. Human beings are social creatures. We need to form meaningful connections with other people for survival. Contrary to common opinion, we don’t need community just to pool our resources to ensure we stay fed and safe. It’s more fundamental than that. Our brains are literally wired for human connection. In extreme cases, other mammals are able to substitute for human contact, but, for the most part, without other human interaction, we die. This need is a double-edged sword. The greatest harms we sustain to our psyches as humans are often caused by our interactions with other humans. Our greatest fears are caused by our need to maintain relationship; our deepest shame, our most intense regrets, our darkest disturbances emerge from our primary, foundational relationships. And these pains, the agonies we sustain within our relationships, can only be healed within relationships.

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