There are two types of people: controllers and controlees. And yes, there are also people in this world who are responsible enough to assume control over their own lives and empathetic enough not to need to exert control over others. Those are the type of people I strive to emulate. However, I grew up as a controlee with a controller older sister. As if coming into this world as an overly caring, overly sensitive, and overly kind person isn’t hard enough, I was also raised in a household where I was practically attached at the hip to a narcissistic, controlling person. We didn’t just grow up in the same house; we grew up in the same bedroom, often sharing the same bed. We had to share all our toys, all our friends, and we even had the same birthday. We were the embodiment of Hegel’s Master/Slave philosophy. She needed to have me to boss around, and I needed her to tell me what to do because I was incapable of making an assertive decision on my own. I was too afraid of hurting someone else, and too afraid of experiencing more rejection, which occurred daily for me. If no one else rejected me, I projected it onto myself because it was such a strong expectation. To numb the hurt, I dissociated. I first became addicted to the television, then to fantasizing (which I refer to as “theater of the mind”). Then, I fell into full-blown sex addiction. It wasn’t until I got into 12-Step recovery, nearly ten years ago now, that I finally began to heal. I started to learn how to take responsibility for my own choices, how to ask for what I needed, and how to stand up for myself when I thought my boundaries were being violated.