Fear is like gravity, a constant presence we need to resist in order to grow stronger and more resilient. Fear is biologically hard-wired into our bodies. An entire section of the human brain, the amygdala, is dedicated to remaining in fear. Falling, sudden noises and movements, the unexpected presence of another person or an object; these are natural fear triggers because they are signs of real impending danger. Alertness to physical threats helps to ensure our survival.

As social creatures, we learn interpersonal fear cues as well. These subtler cues are sensed subconsciously as our neurons form synaptic pathways in response to the fear and anger present in our caregivers; the response, or lack thereof, to our cries for warmth, care, or sustenance; and other consistent experiences with our environment such as climate, ambient noise, and light exposure.

Fear is not bad and is not one more thing to fear. Fear is a chemical messenger alerting us to pay attention and approach with caution. Fear is helpful if we use it as a tool to remind us to focus on what we consider to be most important and most desired in our lives. Fear often triggers fight, flight or freeze responses, which makes it easy to identify. The reason fear so often runs amuck in our lives is because we forget that we have a choice. We think we have no other option than to react automatically. The truth is, we do have a choice. Whenever we first begin to feel the presence of fear, instead of lashing out or running away, we can pause, breathe, and ask our fear what it’s protecting us from. Then, we can respond thoughtfully and intentionally instead. The more we practice resisting the gravity of fear, the more we will be free to fly.